The Retreat: exposure

Friday, September 17, 2010

Two days of binging

I've been binging, and hating myself for it. I was sooooo close to reaching one of my goals- and then I get sick, my psychiatrist notices, and we order a pizza- in which I eat half. Then the day after that I felt horrible and fat and decided it would be in my best interest to eat everything in the house as
a. punishment
b. to get rid of the evil food in the house

So then I binged again, kinda sorta.
I'm convincing my mind that today (since I see a medical doctor) they may want to run labs again and thus I have to fast until I see him.

This low white blood cell thing has caught up to me and I feel like crap- especially the last 3 days.

I'm going to be honest and share my weight gain, that way I can't screw with my head and convince myself I'm smaller than I am, so I'll be updating my freakin' stats UGHH. I was doing so well too :-(

September 15 (GW 138.8)
•    Morning weight: 135.2
•    Calories consumed: 1,600
•    Exercise length: none

September 16
•    Morning weight: 137.8
•    Calories consumed: 2,000
•    Exercise length: none