Two days of binging

I've been binging, and hating myself for it. I was sooooo close to reaching one of my goals- and then I get sick, my psychiatrist notices, and we order a pizza- in which I eat half. Then the day after that I felt horrible and fat and decided it would be in my best interest to eat everything in the house as
a. punishment
b. to get rid of the evil food in the house

So then I binged again, kinda sorta.
I'm convincing my mind that today (since I see a medical doctor) they may want to run labs again and thus I have to fast until I see him.

This low white blood cell thing has caught up to me and I feel like crap- especially the last 3 days.

I'm going to be honest and share my weight gain, that way I can't screw with my head and convince myself I'm smaller than I am, so I'll be updating my freakin' stats UGHH. I was doing so well too :-(

September 15 (GW 138.8)
•    Morning weight: 135.2
•    Calories consumed: 1,600
•    Exercise length: none

September 16
•    Morning weight: 137.8
•    Calories consumed: 2,000
•    Exercise length: none

I guess I don't look uber horrible- but knowing that NOW I'm closer to just 10lbs lost, then 15lbs lost makes ME feel lost :-(

thinspo.

todays stats

September 14
•    Morning weight: 135.4
•    Calories consumed: 480
•    Exercise length: 2minutes
points: 7.5 (buy self plum lipstick)

getting closer to goal

September 13

• Morning weight: 135.2

• Calories consumed: 400

• Exercise length: 15minutes

Down a lb! 136!

Lost a lb- woot!!! I've almost lost 15lbs- pretty cool. Then only 5 more lbs to go for my birthday goal weight. (126) and then I continue after that of course

September 11
•    Morning weight: 136.4
•    Calories consumed: 770
•    Exercise length:

thinyyyspooo

10!

Food:

151-300 calories(3 pts)

Nutrition:

Took diet pills (1 pt. 2pt day max)

Took vitamins, psych meds (1 pt)

Has at least 1-3 fruit/veggie servings (1 pt)

Drank 80+ oz water (2 pts)

Less than 15 minutes (-1 pt)

Do chores (1 pt)

Beauty/Etc:

Work on ED scrapbook (.5 pt)

Go driving (.5 pt)

so far:10!!!


September 10
•    Morning weight: 137.2
•    Calories consumed: 300
•    Exercise length: 8minutes

Fat Exposure therapy lol

my thighs still touch *gags* and I still have a little belly pouch, but my abs are visible and if I bend over- my thighs don't touch... so that's a start! Still need to be 136 by today, else punishment.

my today stats:

Day: 4 (September 9th)

Weight That Morning:  137.4

Calories Expected: 400

Calories Consumed: 700cals

D: noodles and tuna and alfredo sauce (700)

exercise:

good day thus far

September 4
•    Morning weight: 141.1
•    Calories consumed: 510
•    Exercise length: 25minutes