Out of the darkness and into the light


Friday, September 17, 2010

Two days of binging

I've been binging, and hating myself for it. I was sooooo close to reaching one of my goals- and then I get sick, my psychiatrist notices, and we order a pizza- in which I eat half. Then the day after that I felt horrible and fat and decided it would be in my best interest to eat everything in the house as
a. punishment
b. to get rid of the evil food in the house

So then I binged again, kinda sorta.
I'm convincing my mind that today (since I see a medical doctor) they may want to run labs again and thus I have to fast until I see him.

This low white blood cell thing has caught up to me and I feel like crap- especially the last 3 days.

I'm going to be honest and share my weight gain, that way I can't screw with my head and convince myself I'm smaller than I am, so I'll be updating my freakin' stats UGHH. I was doing so well too :-(

September 15 (GW 138.8)
•    Morning weight: 135.2
•    Calories consumed: 1,600
•    Exercise length: none

September 16
•    Morning weight: 137.8
•    Calories consumed: 2,000
•    Exercise length: none



I guess I don't look uber horrible- but knowing that NOW I'm closer to just 10lbs lost, then 15lbs lost makes ME feel lost :-(

thinspo.
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4 comments:

  1. PatienceElizabethSeptember 17, 2010 at 10:00 AM

    Your so lucky to have boobs despite dieting.lol
    -hope all is well hun!

    ReplyDelete
  2. SusieSeptember 17, 2010 at 10:03 AM

    my boobs, like, never go away!
    i'm feeling ill today- but I se the doctor so hopefully we can figure out what is up with me. on a good note, I'm fasting because I may have blood work done today hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnnaSeptember 17, 2010 at 10:37 AM

    Hey! Nice blog...u can visit mine from tme to time...:) andrievka.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tehren AnaiisSeptember 17, 2010 at 10:11 PM

    im not offering advice on binging cause to me thats sick but what helps me when i feel like binging i go for the foods that make me the fullest fastest without being overly carb ridden. today i binged on a 300 gram cup of cut canteloupe from my grocery store. half of it filled me up full enough to want to stop eating. purged it up none the less but it helped for awhile.

    ps - i never lose my boobs either...

    ReplyDelete

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